Growing Out of Dolls?7:23 AM
Hi everyone, it's Chloe. It's been a long time since I've posted here. I've had absences before- a week gone because I went camping, a couple of days...but I've been gone for almost two months now. I haven't touched my dolls in over two weeks.
And I'm starting to wonder if I'm growing out of dolls.
Rather than spending my money on doll clothes, I've been buying clothes for myself. Instead of coming home after school to do a new photoshoot, or write a blog post, I hang out with my friends instead. I got a new dollhouse over three months ago, and I haven't even filled all the rooms yet.
My birthday was a few weeks ago, and that means I got my first American Girl doll seven years ago. I usually do "doll parties" but the last time I did that was in February. My dolls have done a lot over seven years, they've gotten dusty, been in closets...bun in the past three years- they haven't been dusty. My dolls haven't been in a closet for three years. They've been out, in their dollhouse, traveling with me.
Why haven't I touched my dolls lately?
I'm not really sure. A new school year means more homework, extra-curricular activities, and new friends. Homework isn't my biggest issue- I usually have a few days to do an assignment. But for the past two weeks, I've been doing something everyday after school. Then I come home, do homework, eat dinner, shower, and go to bed. Dolls are completely out of the picture.
I also have realized I'm trying to be somebody I'm not. I'm trying to cool at school, and on Instagram I'm trying to give my dolls "cute" outfits that everyone else loves- but I don't. I'm trying to present myself as some mature teenager who knows exactly what she's doing. But I'm not.
I laugh at the stupidest things and I have no idea what I'm doing 95% of the time. ;)
Starting right now- I'm going to be myself. I'm Chloe, a doll loving teenager who is an aspiring photographer. It's that simple. If people don't like that- that's their problem.
As for time? I'm going to do things on my own time. I hang out with people so much because I want to fit in so badly. But I don't need to fit in. I'm still going to do things with my friends, but the people I've met online in the doll community are my friends too and I need to spend time with them.
I realize now that I would sometimes use dolls in the place of the friends I didn't have. And now that I have friends, it's difficult for me to still connect with my dolls. I'm not going to try really really hard to post new things and edit new videos. I'm going to do things because I want to- because I love dolls and I want to share my passion with other people.
My best friend thinks I'm growing out of dolls. I don't think that's true. I think I'm having trouble managing my time wisely- as I have missed my dolls, but I spend to much time doing things for other people then I do doing things for myself.
I'm not saying I'm going to drop everything and become a self- conceited person. Not at all! But while trying to make everyone else happy, I have failed to make myself happy. I can only make myself happy by doing what I love most.
I love dolls and I like taking pictures of them.
I'm not going to guarantee I'm coming back in full swing- multiple posts a week, dollhouse pots, vacation posts-no. I'm not going to do that. I'm going to post things when I feel like it and I'm going to post things because I want to.
This post is a lot different then what I usually do. But I needed to this post for myself.